


What If

by Barba



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 02:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8826832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barba/pseuds/Barba
Summary: What if Sonny's injury in 'Sheltered Outcasts' was more serious than he thought?





	

_“He is a target. People get killed in those places.”_

_“Carisi does look like hell.”_

_“Well, I think he’s just trying to fit in. If he wants out, he’ll let me know, himself.”_

_“Yea, I don’t think he would.”_

* * *

It is as if Rollins knew how this was going to end. She knew what a dedicated detective Carisi was, that he wouldn’t hesitate to put his own life at risk in order to help the victims. If only Benson, or anyone on the squad, took her intuition seriously…maybe Sonny would still be with them.

His desk was still cluttered with his possessions; it’s only been two days and nobody on the team could bring themselves to start packing them into evidence boxes to give to his family.

His jacket was hanging on his chair, unceremoniously thrown over it and forgotten when Sonny was rushing out of the precinct the last time he was there. If you look closely, you will find drool marks on the left shoulder, a gift left from Jesse. His badge lay in the corner; he had to leave it behind to go undercover. Papers were scattered over his desk. A few documents had ink stains from Sonny’s pens bleeding after he chewed on them one too many times. One of the papers even looked like it had some sauce on it. Typical Sonny…

His death wasn’t even one you would picture for a young detective. He wasn’t in the line of fire, it wasn’t a stand-off between the NYPD and criminals. He was just mistaken for the wrong person by a grieving father.

Sofie Nowak was raped, and SVU suspected the rapist was living in a homeless shelter, where Sonny was stationed undercover. Sofie’s father didn’t know Sonny was a detective, he only saw Sonny undercover, as a convicted sex offender out on parole. Consumed with grief and anger for his wronged daughter, he and his friends cornered Sonny, with a goal of getting justice, or even some answers, for his beloved daughter.

If one temporarily forgets about their overwhelming feeling of indignation for Sonny’s untimely death, they would see that Sophie’s father wasn’t the evil cop killer you’d picture. He was a man who couldn’t protect his only daughter from feeling the pain inflicted by a horrible person. He was a man overwhelmed by guilt and helplessness from not keeping his child safe. Those emotions consumed him and caused him to lash out in the only way he thought he could help Sophie, make things right. But his plan went terribly wrong.

He never meant to kill anyone. He didn’t think hitting a man in the kidney with a bat would cause any severe damage. He didn’t hit his spine, he didn’t break skin. People get bruises all the time and survive…right?

Unfortunately, Sonny, the squad’s ray of sunshine, didn’t get lucky. The blow to his right kidney was so severe, that it resulted in its complete loss of function, as well as internal bleeding.

Sonny, being the strong-willed person that he was, didn’t see a need to go to a hospital. Whether he truly didn’t think the injury was serious enough, or if his bravado kept him from seeking help right away, it isn’t clear. He always tried to put on a cheerful face for those around him. That sweet, caring nature of his…

It was only a few hours later, in Benson’s office, when he was convinced by Olivia (in better terms, dragged) that he definitely needs to see a doctor. But by that point, it was too late.

Due to the internal bleeding, blood was seeping away from his left, remaining, kidney. By that point, his left kidney was trying to compensate for the failure of his right one, but due to the lack of blood supply and oxygen, it was rapidly failing as well. The doctor insisted Benson contacts Sonny’s family; death from renal failure was unavoidable.

If one good thing could be said about his manner of death, is that it gave time for his family and the squad to see him one last time and say their good byes. Barba actually acknowledged how Sonny’s perseverance helped him become a skilled detective. It was then or never, and Barba knew he needed to give Sonny recognition for looking up to him the past two years.

Amanda was by Sonny’s side, cracking some forced jokes about how he needed to pull through or she would starve. And who would she watch trashy reality TV with now?

* * *

 A heavy silence filled the squad room. Never again would Sonny’s bright smile and Staten Island accent be a part of their days. They will never see his bouncy strut, or be randomly treated to cannolis in the morning. Amanda never knew how badly she’d crave pizza with goat cheese and sun-dried tomatoes. As a single tear started making its way down Amanda’s face, she coughed down the pressure that was building in her throat. She wondered if Sonny realized how cherished he was.


End file.
